The Fire in Our Eyes
by Aikido Kiryuu
Summary: Risa is a fire bender who was exiled as a young girl because her father was a Water Nation spy. When the secret island is discovered by the Fire Nation, will she fall for the young prince she knew as a child? ZukoXOC ON HOLD
1. Trapped

My first attempt at an Avatar fanfic. I haven't actually watched the show in forever, so it might not be perfect.

SOME INFO:

Zuko is assumed to be seventeen, and Risa is assumed to be sixteen.

There are a few completely made up places that I made up for my own purposes as an author

I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender

_Eleven Years Ago…_

"_Zuko, Azula, this is Risa. Her father just got appointed to command the Fire Nation armies, so she'll be around a lot from now on," one of the servants introduced a scared looking little girl, draped in a ruby red dress to the prince and princess. Risa had large, cloudy blue eyes, and long wavy black hair that went halfway down her back. She wanted to run and hide, more than anything._

"_Can I go home now?" Risa asked the servant, tugging on her dress._

_The servant smiled warmly, "Of course not, miss. Wouldn't you rather play with your new friends?"_

_Zuko wrinkled his nose. "Ew. Do I really have to hang out with her? Girls are gross."_

_Azula's response wasn't much better. "As if. I'm not going to play with these babies." She skipped away, not going to bother with the mouse like girl that had been presented to her._

"_I'm not a baby!" Zuko and Risa protested at the same exact moment. When the realized that they had both copied the other, they turned to each other, and shared a smile._

"_So your sister's pretty bad, huh?" Risa asked shyly, but feeling slightly better. She stepped closer to the young prince._

"_Yeah. She's always like that. She thinks she's so great and perfect. She's just a stupid head," Zuko crossed his arms._

_Risa giggled. "Her head is pretty stupid, huh?"_

_Zuko gave a weak smile. Maybe this girl wasn't so bad after all. "Want to go scare the turtle ducks?" _

_Risa's eyes widened in delight. "Really? I'd love to!"_

_Ten years ago…_

"_Zuko, there's something I need to tell you," The Fire Lord said._

_Zuko knew it must be important, if his father was telling him directly. Normally his father didn't speak to him during the day._

"_Yeah?" Zuko asked, but caught himself. "I mean, yes father?"_

"_Risa's father has been found guilty of spying for the water tribe, and he is scheduled for execution. Normally, as his daughter, Risa would be executed as well. However, since she is only a child, and since I know you have a certain fondness of her, I am simply ordering her to be taken away."_

"_Does this mean I won't see her again?"_

"_Yes, Zuko. That's exactly what it means."_

"_Oh," Zuko sighed, looking down, "That's too bad. She was cool. For a girl, I mean." _

"_Well? Aren't you going to thank me?" Zuko's father demanded._

"_Huh?" Zuko asked, confused._

"_I'm letting Risa live. Don't you think that's generous of me?"_

_Zuko blushed, "O-oh. Yes, of course! Thank you, father."_

Present Day…

Risa combed out her hair, pulled on her warm sapphire colored dress, and left her small home. Ice Island was a small water tribe owned island in the North. It had a tiny population that mostly consisted of exiled water benders and their offspring. It was also home to the Water Nation's maximum security prison, which was known for keeping the prisoners in. There was only one person in history who'd ever escaped it. Maybe that was because most people didn't attempt to escape it, and didn't want to. There weren't many places to run or hide on an island that was quite literally just one giant chunk of ice. Not to mention that they wouldn't get very far. With the vast amount of water benders on the island, catching a single escapee would be like eating a piece of cake. Nearly 50% of the world's water benders lived right here, on Ice Island.

How could so many water bends live in one place without being discovered by the Fire Nation?

Ice Island was uncharted, and the Fire Nation still hadn't discovered it. If they did, it would be disaster. Almost everyone living on the island had been living in fear for the past two weeks. Because Fire Nation fleets had been seen by fishers circling the area, getting closer every time. People had been afraid to cook, should the Fire Nation see the smoke.

But Risa wasn't scared. Part of her wanted the little island to be discovered, so she could get off of the stupid chunk of ice and go back home. She could talk her way out of being held prisoner, should the Fire Nation come. All she would have to say was that she was a Fire Nation girl, being held against her will. All she would have to do was demonstrate her bending, and she'd be home free…

Because Risa had never been a Water Nation girl. She had been born in the Fire Nation, and raised into a happy life. And then the water bender came, and killed her parents. He took her, and told her that he was her father now. And he stole her real father's name. And Risa could only listen to him, and obey him. Because at the time she'd simply been a five year old girl who feared for her life. Ever since the evil that man had shown her, Risa had secretly harbored a hatred of water benders. Living among them daily drove her mad.

Especially because she had to be careful. Risa needed to watch her every step, so that the inhabitants of Ice Island wouldn't discover her secrets. Not only was she born in the Fire Nation, she was a fire bender.

It was three in the afternoon when they landed.


	2. The Disposable

-Risa's point of view-

I know what you're thinking. The Fire Nation fleet, right? No. The flying bison landed with a large thud, carrying four passengers. A bald monk, a Water Nation girl- not from around here, though; A Water Nation boy, slightly older than the girl, and a blind young Earth Bender. Instead of being chased away, as the Ice Island citizens would normally do, they were welcomed. I felt out of the loop, though. Clearly these people were of importance. But I couldn't put my finger on why.

Just then, Lee, the leader of our island, stepped towards them with open arms. "Welcome, Avatar!" He cried. Some of the less ignorant cheered. Most of the islanders, like myself, were clueless.

However the group looked anything but happy to be here.

"We're being followed by the Fire Nation!" The Water Nation boy said in an urgent tone, "Is there any place we can hide?"

Lee looked troubled that the group was being followed. However he nodded. "You may all hide in our great hall until you are safe," he declared, pointing to our largest building on the island. "We do not have much food, as fishing has been not very prosperous this season. But there should be enough, that which will be brought to you at a later time."

"Why should we take them in if they're being followed by the Fire Nation?" Someone complained. I'd been wondering the same thing. They could have very well brought the Fire Nation straight here.

"Because, we must be hospitable," Lee said, "Especially towards the Avatar. Everyone must be on their best behavior."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. Even in his old age, Lee caught it, and singled me out. He was always trying to find reasons to get me in trouble. "Risa. Why don't you escort this group to the Great Hall? And maybe you could also bring them some food, too. I know how much you enjoy cooking."

I groaned, but there was nothing I could do to get out of it. I stepped through the crowd, weaving in and out of people in heavy coats. I walked up to face the Avatar, who smiled at me, and held out his hand. "Hi! I'm Aang," he said brightly, "And this is Katara, Sokka, and Toph. And Appa and Momo too of course." A lemur came out of nowhere and perched on Aang's shoulder. Great. A little animal. And not the kind we were going to eat, either. No. Instead I was expected to provide food to it that we really didn't have.

"I'm Risa," I said, simply out of politeness. I ignored his hand, though. "Our Great Hall is, obviously, this way." I started to walk, and I heard the loud, heavy footsteps of the bison. We'd be lucky if he didn't crack our island in half. Except…I couldn't help picturing the bison as a big, juicy steak, either. We'd have enough meat and fur for the entire village for months.

Sokka, the boy, decided to catch up to me. "Hey. You know, back in my tribe, I was a warrior."

I could have laughed. "Well then you might want to go back, because here, you're a loser," I said, rolling my eyes again.

Aang and Katara laughed a little. I just started walking faster, to get away from the troublesome creep. I opened the two doors, measuring them with my eyes. With luck, if the bison could lower his head a little bit, he could fit through. I stepped out of the way, and let their little group worry about it. It took nearly ten minutes, but finally, the bison was in.

The main room of the hall was chilly, and I carefully studied the reactions of the group members as they took in the sheer beauty of it. Sometime back, just recently, an artist had been on the island. He had done a beautiful job creating huge mosaic designs in the floor, and of course the dome atop our heads. From the outside, our hall didn't look nearly as spectacular. But the inside was a piece of artwork to behold. Despite what you're thinking, the main room wasn't huge. It was hardly tall enough for Appa, who's only saving grace was the very top of the dome, where he could keep his head.

"Your bison will have to stay here," I was only imagining the threat of bison waste, ruining the beautiful mosaic floor. But it was the only place big enough.

"Come this way," I said, walking over to a side door. I opened it up, and walked into the eating area.

I noticed the disappointment the shrouded their faces when they saw it. Our cafeteria was small and plain, with only a seven foot tall ceiling. It was dark and cold, but dry. The walls were just plain wood, painted over poorly. They sat at a table for four, and I went into the kitchen. Chef noticed me, and spoke up, "Risa, you know we don't have enough food for you to be snacking.

I shook my head, "No, we have guests. T-the Avatar and his friends. Leader Lee told me to feed them."

Chef looked pleased at the prospect of the Avatar being here, but his face fell soon after. He knew we barely had enough food for our own people these days. Fishing was getting bad. "It's okay, Chef. I'll skip dinner tonight." My stomach growled, already hungry.

Chef looked as though he wanted to tell me not to sacrifice my own dinner, but instead, he nodded. He knew that there was no other option. These were the times we were living in, and choices had to be made. Like who was vital to the survival as our people as a whole. I wasn't vital. I wasn't a necessity. So I could go without a meal or two.

Chef was the one person who knew of my real origins, and of my bending. He'd seen me do it my very first time, by accident. I'd been almost brand new to the island, and Chef had chosen to take me in until I was old enough to live alone. I'd helped him cook through times of starvation and times of good fishing. However, that one winter was bad, and we ran out of wood near the end. More wood wouldn't be coming until spring, when the weather wasn't so severe. No one wanted to eat fish raw, but that's what it began to come down to. I was so scared, and wanted cooked fish so badly, that when I picked up a fish, my hands suddenly burst into a small flame, and left behind a badly charred fish. But it smelled good. So I had eaten it, without the head and tail of course. Chef had been standing in the doorway. Behind his anger that I had just eaten an entire fish without permission, was the fear of anyone discovering my little ability. Saying I was lucky to have Chef as a guardian would be an understatement. That winter without firewood, I was allowed to perfect my self-cooking ability, even though it took a while. I was only allowed to use fire bending in the kitchen. That's what he told me. Nowhere else.

So I grabbed four pieces of our best fish, and cooked them without a second thought. Even after all of these years, Chef still wasn't comfortable with it. It still unnerved him to see me using fire bending. But he accepted it, and he no longer saw fire as completely evil. So long as I didn't turn into a pyromaniac, that would be fine with him. With the Fire Nation possibly being so close, we couldn't risk our cooking smoke being seen. I placed each piece of fish on a plate. A plate that was large and meant for more than one type of food. A plate that had seen better days. The pieces of fish barely took up one plate alone. But there was no time to think about that now.

So I brought out the pieces of fish, and set them on the table in front of each person.

"Oh, I get it. You guys do like…dinner in courses, right? This is like an appetizer?" Sokka asked, eating the piece of fish in four bites. "Well bring. It. On!"

Toph just took the whole thing with her hands and shoved it in her mouth. I wasn't sure how to tell them that was probably all we could provide them with for now. Katara and Aang were eating more slowly, and I was grateful that at least half of the group had manners.

"Actually…that's all we have for food," I said softly.

Sokka looked both disappointed and apologetic. "Sorry. I didn't realize…"

"It's okay," I said, even though anger was boiling over, "Even if we had had enough to eat, you still would have been rude." I didn't yell it, I said it calmly, but I did storm out of the cafeteria, past the bison, and back outside. I was so tired of being treated like a little piece of dirt. Little, disposable Risa. But I wasn't disposable, that was the problem. Without me, more people might have been dead today.

I just had to deal with being the unsung hero all of the time. It was hard, but there wasn't much I could do.

I walked to the very edge of the island, as far away from the village as I could get. But the truth was, it wasn't far away enough. Here we were, on the brink of famine, and were just expected to provide our guests with food. It was the polite, well-mannered thing to do. But was it still right if other people would have to starve? Whoever Lee decided was disposable? I sat down and shut my eyes. Anyone could see me from the village, which was a problem. There were no trees or rocks or anything. Just flat ice, covered in snow so we weren't slipping and falling all the time.

A soft piece of snow landed on my face, light as air. But I realized that it didn't melt and slide down my cheek as it should of. Another one. They didn't melt. I opened my eyes, and brushed the snowflakes off of my cheeks and into my hands. My heart stopped as I realized that this "snow" was actually ash.

Even though I'd been waiting for this day, I was petrified, too. I glanced across the water, looking all over for the ship that wasn't in sight yet.

* * *

Prince Zuko was so close to the Avatar he could almost taste it. One of the crew had spotted Aang's stupid bison, and Zuko immediately chose to pursue it. They were close now. To that stupid little island that a ship had just discovered. An island that could potentially be a threat, as the rumors went. The rumors said that water benders lived by the dozens there. However he wasn't in the mood for taking prisoners today. Just the Avatar.

Wiping out some more water benders was just an unexpected little bonus.


	3. Banished

Ash fell silently from the sky- enough to strike panic into the village's heart. Everyone saw it now- a symbol of oppression. At first, Risa was fascinated by the black snow. It was something she hadn't seen in a long, long time. Then she was angry. The Avatar had led certain death right to them!

A small speck appeared on the horizon. A single Fire Nation ship, a cloud of smoke as thick as grayish-black cotton candy trailing slowly behind it. At the speed it was moving, Risa calculated it would arrive in a half hour. Sooner than that, fire balls would bombard the barren landscape, a final warning before the storm. People would be killed. Possibly everyone. The island had a decent number of benders, yes. But it wasn't enough to hold off Fire Nation soldiers. Unless Risa could bend without seeing her, there was nothing she could do. Risa was useless.

**Risa's Point of View**

Panic was spreading through the village like fire. Pardon the awful pun. The ship was only minutes away, so close I could see the details of the crew's soot covered faces. Our best water benders had been tossing the ship backward with powerful waves. But it wasn't enough. The benders had been at it for a few hours now, and they couldn't hold them off forever. No matter how powerful they were, our water benders weren't invincible. They were exhausted. Every time they pushed the ship back, the Fire Nation ship got closer the next time they advanced.

Now I knew that they were getting impatient, though. Because they were loading their catapults with flaming balls, and then the real war began. Many of the benders on the front line fled further inland. The ones that stood their ground were killed soon after. The island that had once been like a water bender sanctuary was falling fast. Even though I knew in my heart that I had never belonged here, it pained me to see the people who had become my family falling. But there was nothing I could do besides stand back and watch it all happen. No one had told the Avatar about the Fire Nation's arrival- a decision made by Lee. Lee knew that Aang would want to protect us, but Lee held firmly onto his belief that we needed to protect ourselves. Avatar's fault or not. But Aang knew now of their arrival anyways, as giant fireballs aren't silent. Him and his friends had been warned to remain hidden- but realistically, I knew it wouldn't happen.

"Risa!" Chef called, grabbing my shoulder from behind. "Come on, we need to hide," he said softly, coughing on the smoke that was polluting the once quiet air. I knew he was right, but I was paralyzed to the spot, fascinated and horrified by my heritage. The way the fire burned was beautiful and glorious and strong. But it was being used for unspeakable acts, acts that Risa despised. But the fire itself was beautiful. Beautiful and destructive. Never before had she witnessed such an amazing display of power. Power that she had the ability to create. The notion that she could make such a beautiful thing happen was overwhelming.

However her heart knew it was being used for evil. Beautiful things shouldn't be used for destruction. Her heart fluttered as another fireball landed twenty feet from her, releasing a sudden swell of heat that dragged Risa back into the living world and reminded her that just because she could control fire didn't mean she was protected against it.

"Risa!" Chef barked, gently shaking her shoulder, "We need to go. There's nothing you can do here!"

I nodded, and we ran back to the main hall, where many scared residents had gathered. Chef pushed through the crowd, dragging me along behind him. "Risa, go down into the meat cellar," he whispered. "Take the children with you."

Chef addressed the crowd. "Would all of the children please follow Miss Risa to safety!"

Confused children were urged forward by crying mothers who knew that there was not enough room for everyone. And children came first.

"Why don't we all go?" A young man cried, upset.

Chef took a deep breath, and I was amazed at his calmness. "Because the cellar can't hold everyone. When we see how much room there is left after the children are safe, the mothers of the young babies will be allowed down too. If there happens to be any left over space, we will fit whoever we can down there."

The man was quiet, but his expression held a look of rage. The kids all rushed towards me, the will to live growing with every passing second. I was handed newborn upon newborn, but could only carry two. Other older kids assisted me.

I led the way down to the meat cellar, which was bare and empty, except for Avatar and company. There was no meat in times of starvation. The kids were all scared and crying. I didn't know what to do about that.

"I can't just sit back and do nothing!" Aang cried, pacing back and forth, "This is my fault, and I need to fix it." I wasn't sure who he was talking to.

"It was your fault," I agreed, handing off the newborns to their brothers or sisters. "But if there's one thing this island has, it's pride. And if we go down, we want to go down fighting for ourselves. We don't want your help." I put my hands on my hips, trying to keep a calm disposition, like Chef.

Sokka stepped forward, "Why won't you let us help you? We could stop them, if you gave us the chance!"

"There's nothing you could do that we aren't already doing. This isn't necessarily my belief- but I don't run this place. Lee does."

I noticed that the room had gone quiet. The children were no longer crying. I looked around, to see that Katara had taken on the role of mother. When I listened to her calming words, I realized that I grew calmer, too. Even in times of terror, somehow someone was able to keep their head and think of others.

There was a loud crash, and the roof shook, sending bits of dirt and dust falling on our heads. The hall had been hit.

"Appa!" Aang cried, suddenly running back upstairs.

"Aang, you can't go up there!" Katara cried, hurrying after him. She was followed by Sokka, who led Toph behind him. The lemur thing followed them.

I couldn't risk the children though. So I shut and locked the door behind them. Something told me no one else was coming down.

What seemed like hours later, but was in reality was only a few hours, we heard heavy, armored footsteps above our heads.

"We're going to play a game," I said quickly, "Whoever can be the quietest wins!"

Silence. I let out a sigh of relief. Nobody breathed.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Pause.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

"No one is here," someone from upstairs proclaimed, "The Avatar has fled."

Crash. I flinched, and a couple of kids whimpered in fear. It sounded as if someone had kicked something over.

"Dammit!" I heard someone cry. "Return outside. Make sure to eliminate everyone. Bender or not." That person stormed past the door. Then he paused. Had he seen the door? The door had a removable handle, which Chef had probably removed. But if someone were to notice the door, they could burn it down. The person started walking again.

Suddenly I heard Chef cry out, and I couldn't take standing back and looking over the children any longer. I looked to Lea, the closest in age to me, and Lee's daughter..

"You're in charge now," I murmured quietly. "And even if I come back kicking and screaming at the door, you aren't to let me in. No matter what I say. Promise me."

"Are you going after Chef?" She asked with nervous eyes.

"Promise me," I said again.

"I…promise," she said hesitantly. I gently touched her shoulder before going towards the door and quickly slipping out of it.

The beautiful mosaic ceiling was destroyed. Pieces of broken glass lie everywhere, shining in the dim sunlight. I hurried out of the building, proud to see our people still fighting strong. The air was filled with smoke, though, and it was difficult to see.

"Chef!" I screamed, through the confusion.

"Risa? No! Go back!" I heard Chef cry, frightened for my life. I quickly located his voice, and looked over to see a fire bender looming over him. Chef's response had only alerted the bender to me. "Leave her alone," Chef cried, realizing his mistake.

"No. Come at me! Don't touch him," I growled, giving Chef a meaningful glance. The fire bender looked at me, and hesitated. Was he unsure of harming a teenage girl? He'd hesitated too long.

So I concentrated, and let out a huge burst of flame from my hands, driving the soldier back. It was hard work, and I'd never actually practiced control over such large bursts of fire. I'd never had the right place to practice it without being discovered.

This confused the soldier even more. "Why are you fighting me?" He cried, shocked at my attack.

"Because I'm not on your side!" I screamed, hurtling another jet of fire at him. "I might be one of you, but I don't support you!"

I took a pause, and surveyed my opponent. He had paused now, too. The smoke cleared between us, and I took a quick glance at Chef. I made a head gesture, signaling him to run for it. He hesitated, but my look didn't let up, so he nodded, and ran.

And then I realized that I recognized who I was fighting. From so long ago…Zuko. I couldn't be sure what went through his head, but suddenly, he turned around, and screamed, "Everyone back to the ships! We pursue the Avatar. No reason to waste any more time here." And he stalked away.

And just as fast as the black snow had started, the Fire Nation ship was sailing calmly away, leaving our island quiet, peaceful, and the site of a massacre. But now I was surrounded by angry survivors. Lee, and many others had survived despite the many that had died. I was a bender. Even though I had saved them all- I was still an enemy. And enemies wouldn't be tolerated here.

"Through an organized vote, we have found you guilty of being a fire bender, Risa. However, since you are still a child, we have decided that we will not kill you, but instead banish you. You will be sent out on a small fishing ship without a paddle, and should you live, you live. If you die, you die. You will be provided with enough fresh water for a week, but no food."

I nodded, feeling sick. Chef was looking away from me, a pained expression on his face. He didn't want me sent away. He knew I had saved his life. To him I was a hero. But I was still going to be banished. "When do I leave?" I asked quietly, feeling like the most small and insignificant person in the world.

"Immediately."

I burst into tears.

"Lee, please rethink this! She's just a child! She'd lived with us from such a young age, she isn't like other fire benders!" Chef pleaded for me.

"Nothing further. My decision is final."

Zuko sat at a table on his ship, trying to decide if what he'd seen was real. A fire bender living on an island of water benders? He'd recognized her as Risa, the girl he'd known for a brief amount of time during his childhood. But Risa's father had been a Water Nation spy. So how could she have been a fire bender? Nothing made sense. He wasn't even sure why he'd left the island alone after that encounter. But maybe he'd have a chance to catch the Avatar still.

Nothing made sense.


	4. Adrift

"Good luck, Risa," Chef whispered, hugging me. I hugged him back, trying not to show I was afraid. He slipped something into my coat pocket, and patted my back. I might not have been crying, but Chef's eyes glittered slightly. "Please, if you can't do anything else, find a way to survive. Okay?" I could only find the heart to give a weak little nod.

I tossed my bag into the boat, wondering if this was truly happening. It was. I slowly climbed in after it, giving a few last glances, pleading to let me stay. In return I received a few glances of pity, but most of the people who I'd come to know despised me now. Where do you go when you're banished from the place where you go when you're banished from wherever you originally came from, I wondered. With a jerk, a small water bender created wave carried me about fifty feet away from the island, past the point where a stray wave might carry me in. Chef's face was just a speck now, a speck that I tried to pry last second memories from. I wasn't prepared to lose the years I'd spent with him. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the fading island. My home. There were no 'good' fire benders in the eyes of the island. It was early morning, and the milky sky was beginning to brighten as the sun rose, dragging a new day behind it. Something about the new day sparked a new hope in me. After all, I'd always wanted to see the world beyond the sea.

About an hour later, the island had disappeared forever. I knew for a fact that I'd never see it again. I could never go back, and people there would live and die. Without me, life would go on. Time wouldn't stop just because I was sent away. People would wake up, and desperately try to work for money, which would be used to buy whatever food was caught for the day. No one would give me a second thought, because they'd be too busy surviving themselves. The only one who might give me a second thought would be Chef. And when he did, it would be a small thought, in respect for my years of helping him. He'd have bigger things to worry about, besides what happened to me. I almost hoped that he'd never give me a second thought. At least it would be easier for him that way.

Remembering Chef, the only person I'd ever really cared for there, I remembered him slipping something into my pocked before I'd left the island. I reached into my pocked, and found a pouch made from a piece of material, with something inside of it. I opened it up, and peeked inside. There was a tiny piece of fish, hardly the size of my fist. It wouldn't be a full meal, but it would be food, and that's what mattered. Chef hadn't been so insensitive as to send me away without anything to eat. Except I wouldn't eat it, not just yet. I decided to save it until I was so hungry I couldn't take it anymore. I wrapped up the piece of fish again, and returned it to my pocket. My last little piece of Chef. It was only fair to make it last.

I moaned, falling to my back and squinting up into the sky. This was going to be a long ride. A very long ride. All around me was nothing but water and ice. I had a bad feeling that I'd be drifting for too long to see the rest of the world.

That night was cold. Really, really, freeze-your-blood kind of cold. My fingers, without gloves, were numb, and I knew that making a fire on a wooden boat would just end in disaster. Even a small one, that could fit in my palm, wouldn't be enough. I had already tried it, just to warm my hands, and it hadn't worked. What good was having power over fire if you couldn't even keep yourself warm? I tried to pull my coat tighter around me, but my body was no longer producing sufficient heat to be trapped in its furs. Everything was completely silent, no living creature was well enough adapted to be out this late at night in the middle of a half-frozen ocean. The only sounds I could hear was the eerie, creaking sound of the water licking at the tiny wooden boat, and the soft, shaking sound of my breath. The moon was hidden behind thick clouds that warned of snow, leaving me in what was almost complete darkness. The whole experience was nearly enough to make me break down and fall apart. But instead, I kept on looking up at the few stars that were peeking through the clouds, and praying that somehow someone would find me soon. Despite how unlikely it was, I still had hope.

It was late, and I figured I'd been on the boat for about sixteen hours or so. Maybe more- I hadn't been able to sleep, eat, or do anything to draw myself out of boredom. And suffice it to say that you don't want to know how I've been 'disposing of waste,' either. For the past few hours I'd been off in a fantasy or memory of some sort, trying to distract myself and pass the time. It had worked, too, for a while. But now I was back in the grim depths of reality, realizing that if nobody found me soon, I was doomed. And that was enough to keep anyone awake. I dug through the little backpack of necessities I'd been provided with, and pulled out a coarse blanket, which I wrapped around myself. I found it to be useless, as it was just as cold as I was. But it was something, and I thought maybe, eventually, my body might warm it up. After all, there was nothing more I could do right now than hope. I found that by imagining that things would happen, it made getting through reality much easier.

The boat suddenly smacked against a piece of ice, and I jerked upwards, a small fire in my hand to check for damage. There was luckily no damage, and I looked over the edge of the boat, to see the relatively small piece of ice that had collided with me. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth. If I sank, I was done for. I could swim, definitely. But it would only be a matter of time before hypothermia overtook me. For now, I was safe. For now. I let the fire die, and let myself fall back down to the bottom of the boat, head resting on the wooden planks. A stiff neck was the least of my worries, though. I closed my eyes, trying to catch at least a small wink of sleep. I found myself way too keyed up, though, and my eyes flickered open again. I groaned, upset that I couldn't get to sleep. I wasn't tired, but it would at least kill time. I could dream, and be somewhere off of the boat. For a little while, I might have some peace.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I must have, because when I woke up, the sun was high in the sky, and a sharp wind was blowing. Snow had covered me and the boat at some point in the night. I brushed myself off, and stared around me, hungry for a sign of land, or a boat, or something. But there was nothing, and my heart sank to the bottom of the sea.

I was going to be out here for a long, long time.


	5. Half Rescued

There came a point where I was hungry- starving, even. I told myself that if I didn't eat the fish soon, it would spoil anyways. But maybe that was just a reason to justify eating it. With a simple move, I began burning the fish with my hands, letting the flames lick away at the tiny chunk. The smell of the cooking fish was amazing, and my mouth watered longingly. I didn't want to stop cooking it though, because it would stop producing that lovely smell that it was now. I cooked and inhaled, and inhaled, and inhaled, until the smell turned to that of a horrible, burning odor. I stopped, and coughed a little bit, and watched the dark gray smoke float up into the sky and disappear forever, fading into an endless sky of blue. For a long time, I held the charred black lump in my hands, feeling incredibly stupid. I had had a small piece of food, perhaps the only piece I would ever have before I wasted away out here, and I had burnt it. Way to go, Risa. I stared at the tiny chunk, at a loss for words. There were no words for what I felt. Stupidity was the closest I could come without seriously taking a hammer to my self-esteem. I held the morsel to my lips, and licked it. Not to my surprise, it was the worst thing I had ever tasted. But, it was food, and I was starving, so I had no right to be picky. So I popped it in my mouth, chewed, and quickly washed it down with a half-frozen canteen of fresh water. Yech.

It didn't come close to saturating my appetite, not in the least. But it was something, and my stomach growled, a neglected dog, yearning for more than I could give. Soon, I was so infatuated with the thought of food, though, that I began to daydream. I imagined myself at the head of a small dining table, the table lined with all of the delicious foods I had ever known. Meat, and vegetables, and fruit, and cheese, and ice cream…my stomach let out a loud growl again, dragging me back into the cold grasp of reality. I pulled my knees to my chest, and let myself drown in a pool of private thoughts. It was an impractical thing to do, I admit, but there wasn't much else I could do.

It must have been nearly evening when the large, ominous shadow made its way over my head. At first, I thought nothing of it. My brain was too slow, and too deprived of food to even go into detail. I wasn't asking 'why' things were anymore. They were just there, and that was that. There was no why, or how. I accepted the fact that they were there, why waste energy with useless questions? Now, I know that I was probably being overdramatic, after all, it had hardly been three days. But even so, all of this time alone in a boat with nothing to eat and nothing to do was driving me mad. If you were finding words to describe me, adaptable wouldn't be one of them, I assure you. My body had always been weaker than everyone else's. Or maybe I was just more of a drama queen. It was most likely the latter, but who cares?

Had it been a storm cloud, my situation would have turned even worse, because my body was already trying hard enough to protect itself from the elements, and it didn't need rain or snow on overdrive. I may have spent most of my life on an island made of almost entirely ice, however there were houses and shelters there to protect me from the bitterest winds. On the sea, there was nothing to block the wind, and nothing sufficient at keeping me warm. But, it wasn't a storm cloud, and for that I was lucky.

I couldn't tell you why I chose to look up at what had caused the shadow. In my condition at the time, I was lucky if I even realized whether it was day or night. But something possessed me to look up. And at first, I thought I was hallucinating. After all, a giant flying bison wasn't something I normally saw every day. But there it was, even after I blinked, and rubbed my eyes, and looked away. But I knew that bison. Appa! They were hovering above me, leaving me to wonder if they'd seen me. I stood up with difficulty, and nearly fell over as the boat tipped violently from right to left. But I kept my balance.

"HELP!" I screamed, at the top of my lungs, which felt like I was scraping sandpaper against the back of my throat. I saw three heads peer over the side of the saddle, looking down at me. They'd seen me!

"Are you okay down there?" Aang yelled back, bald held shining in the sun. I squinted, and put a hand over my eyes to see them more clearly.

"I'm fine! But I could use a lift!" Excitement welled up inside of me, and I was incredibly thankful that they were there. If I had resented them before, now I was absolutely thrilled that they were there at all. Because they could fly. They had maps, and they could get me back on solid ground again. I felt immense relief as Appa began to descend, eventually until he was barely a meter above the water.

"Risa?" Katara asked, cocking her head to one side, "What are you doing out here."

I looked down, "It's a long story…but…can you give me a ride, or not?" I felt like a pain, but they seemed like the hospitable type, so I was willing to risk it.

"Aang, I don't know. Can we really afford to feed another mouth?" Sokka, always Mr. Practical, eh? Never Mr. Nice.

"Just help me get to land and I'll find my own food, I promise," I put a hand on my heart, and then picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "Please, just help me get off of the sea."

"Sure thing! It's the least we can do, after you were so kind to us on your island," Aang said brightly, jumping down and landing on the boat, causing it to nearly capsize. I fell to my butt, and didn't get up until the pain subsided for a moment. "Sorry about that," Aang said apologetically. He extended a hand to me, which I took. "Hold on!"

"Wha-?" Before I could ask what he meant or why, he had already jumped up, a stream of air propelling the both of us back up onto Appa's huge saddle. I landed with a thud, and it took me a minute to collect myself again. "Woah," I commented, "That was cool."

"Thanks! So, should we take you back home?" Aang asked, still smiling brightly.

The color drained from my face, "No! No!" I cried without hesitation, "I don't want to go back there. I want to see the world, you know? To tell you the truth, I was running away. I hated that place…we were all starving, and running out of food. After the Fire Nation came…that was it. I had to leave. I knew it was only a matter of time before they came back to finish us off, you know?"

Katara's look of happiness faded to a look of anger. "So you abandoned them, then?" She cried, upset. "How could you do something like that?"

"I-I…I didn't know what to do. I was scared." And I was a liar, now, too. But that was nothing new to me.

Aang placed a hand on Katara's shoulder. "Give her a break, Katara. You don't have to be so harsh. Risa had every right to leave…it may have been selfish, but you can't blame her. And look at it this way. Without her on the island, they have one less mouth to feed."

Katara turned away, clearly upset, but she said nothing more.

I sighed. "No, Aang…she's right. I did abandon them. But I'm too ashamed to go back now, you know? I'm not even sure if they'd want me back."

I was just digging my grave deeper, I knew, but I had to say something. "But I really have always wanted to explore the world. I've never known anything besides ice." I chose not to inform them about my questionable origins.

"Well…why don't you come with us, then?" Aang asked, a grin sneaking across his face yet again. I had to admit, I was pretty shocked by his offer.

"What?" Katara and Sokka cried at the same time, "Why?"

I looked towards the horizon. "That's okay, Aang. Your friends don't seem to want me to. So maybe it's better if I don't, you know?" My heart sank, because I secretly wanted to. It sure sounded a whole lot more exciting than roaming the countryside without a map or money by myself.

"It isn't that I don't want you coming along. It's just that we have certain plans to end the war, that we need to complete. I'm not so sure how willing you'd be to be involved with that kind of thing. I mean, Aang still needs to learn fire bending, and work on his earth and water bending, too…and I just think it might not interest you. It's kind of dangerous." I could tell by his tone that he didn't want me coming. He was trying to discourage me by any means possible.

"Well I'm not so sure we should trust her," Katara said dryly. "After all. Who's to say that she won't abandon us, too?"

Aang frowned at her. "Why are you being so hard on her?"

"It's nothing," Katara mumbled, giving me a glare and then looking away, "It's nothing."

"Do we have anything to eat?" Toph moaned. I'd practically forgotten that she was even there.

Sokka sighed, "No, we ran out, remember? Unless…of course, Risa has something," he looked at me with hopefully puppy eyes. They were hard to refuse, but I couldn't provide him with what he wanted.

So I shook my head. "Sorry. I'm out of food."

His attitude became downcast. "Oh. Yeah. I should've guessed as much." He unrolled a map, which flapped wildly in the wind. "Well, according to this, we're going to land on Fire Nation territory if we keep on heading west. So, if we can find a market, we can all be fed within the next day or so. Maybe longer, if we can't find a village." Sokka was trying to be optimistic, but we could all tell that he was suffering.

Toph groaned, and slammed her feet down on the saddle. "But I'm hungry now!"

"We all are, Toph," Katara said bitterly. She was not happy about me at all. But I still couldn't figure out just why I bothered her so much. I almost wished I was back on my little boat, now just an empty piece of wood floating somewhere on the open ocean. Almost. But not quite. Getting food in a day or two wasn't nearly as bad as a month or two. And putting up with a cranky Water Tribe girl was worth getting fed, and being with people who were at least conversation.

* * *

A/N: Please, please review! I like hearing feedback, positive or negative!


	6. Good News & Bad News

"I thought you said we'd see land soon," I groaned, staring down at the same open ocean I'd been staring at for the past few hours. I didn't really have any rights to complain, considering that it was my fault I had taken a ride from them anyways. It was hard not to, though.

"Well, we're getting close, I think. The temperature's gotten warmer," Sokka said, trying to be optimistic. He didn't seem to be insulted by my whining.

I checked how I was feeling, temperature-wise. I was still cold, numb in some places, but I did feel a slight rise in temperature. "Okay...so how long before we get to the Fire Nation?"

"Well...I don't really know," Sokka said, rubbing his head. "I was kind of looking at the map upside-down earlier. Since that little island we were on-"

"Ice Island," I interjected.

"Yeah, Ice Island. Well since it was uncharted...I assumed we were somewhere right here." Sokka pointed to the lower left-hand corner of the map. "And since I was accidentally holding the map upside-down...I thought we should head west when we should have been heading east. The good thing is that we'll still see land- it's just taken longer. The better news is that we're going to land on Earth Nation territory."

I felt my heart sink a little bit. "Oh...yeah, that's great," I said quietly, before looking out towards the sea again. "But were you really that stupid that you were holding the map upside-down?"

"Risa, could you please leave my brother alone? We're all a little tired, and hungry. It isn't a big surprise that he made a mistake under those conditions," Katara said, in her I'm-better-than-you attitude. "At least he realized his mistake. I don't see you trying to navigate us to safety. At least he's trying."

"You aren't helping by getting all worked up at me either, you know. I don't see you doing anything, either."

"Guys, please, don't fight!" Aang said, holding out his hands. "We're all hungry and tired. Let's just calm down, and leave each other alone."

"I don't trust her, Aang," Katara said, crossing her arms.

"She seems okay to me," Toph said, shrugging. "Sorry Risa. Katara's just paranoid. And I think she's just worried that now she has competition."

"Competition? I'm not even a water bender," I said, pretending to be sad about it.

"That isn't it Toph! Be quiet. The only thing is, Ice Island is for exiled Water Benders- and it holds a maximum security prison too. Did any of you ever stop to think that she might not be that safe?" Katara said, raising her voice and pointing at me.

"Katara, calm down. Risa is probably a second or third generation. I doubt that she was actually exiled herself," Aang said, trying to make peace.

"Still. She abandoned her people."

Toph whispered, "She isn't usually like this. She's just jealous because she thinks you might make a move on Aang."

I cracked a smile, because the more I watched Katara's body language towards the avatar, I realized that Toph was right.

Katara blushed bright red. "Toph! Please, that's not true!" But after that, Katara grew pretty quiet, and looked out at the ocean on the other side of the saddle.

"I'm kind of disappointed we won't be going to the Fire Nation," Aang said quietly.

"What? Why would you say that?" Toph asked, shocked.

"Because...I was sort of hoping that someone could teach me fire bending there...that's all." Aang looked away from us all, back to keep watching ahead as he held Appa's reigns.

"I don't think a fire bender would be so willing to help you take down their own people, you know," Toph said. I was a little bit insulted that they assumed we were all evil and power-crazy, but I let it go. After all, it wasn't like I could just announce that I was a fire bender. I'd probably get thrown off into the water.

"Hey guys!" Aang cried suddenly, standing up on Appa's head. Brave kid. I'd be afraid of falling off. "Land!"

We all immediately perked up, and looked ahead to the sight we'd all been waiting hours to see. Not only that, we could see a city, right on the coastline. That wasn't the only thing we saw, though. There was also a fleet of Fire Nation ships docked there.

"Wait!" I cried, upon noticing it, "Those are Fire Nation ships. We can't just land there. I don't think that anyone can see us, the clouds are pretty thick. But we can't land too close to the city, either. We'll have to go inland for a while. Then we leave Appa, go into the city, and eat."

Everyone looked a bit more downcast, but we were all just happy that our stomachs would be fed soon. Katara was giving me a funny look, though. I didn't think she'd ever trust me, and I guessed that was a good thing. After all, I wouldn't exactly call me their ally. Just because I'd made friends with them didn't mean I was on their side.

"Doesn't matter! As long as the Fire Nation doesn't see Aang's head, then we're good, right?" Toph said brightly, "I just can't wait to eat!"

By the time we'd landed, we were already breaking into a run towards the city. Sayu, Sokka had mentioned its name was. Except for Katara. She insisted on staying behind to guard Appa. Aang promised we'd be back with food soon. However, I knew she didn't care all that much about guarding Appa. She just didn't want to be around me. It was probably a good thing. I thought that maybe, with luck, I could sneak away from Aang, Sokka, and Toph, and perhaps become a stowaway on one of the Fire Nation ships. Maybe it was a stupid plan, but at the moment, it was all I had. I was going to get home, no matter what!


	7. Short Lived Peace

While everyone else was completely infatuated with one of the food stands, I attempted to sneak off. Unsuccessfully, I might add. "Where are you going?" Sokka asked. "We shouldn't go off by ourselves. Especially with the Fire Nation lurking around."

I couldn't make up an excuse fast enough that would sound realistic enough. So I left it be, and helped to carry a basket of fruit. I picked an apple out of it, and ate it, bite by bite, as we walked around the city. "Don't you think that we should get back to Katara soon?" I questioned. She might not be able to stand me, and I might not be able to stand her either, but it didn't mean I didn't feel bad about leaving her all alone.

Aang smiled at me, "Yeah, I think Risa's right."

"You guys can go ahead," Sokka said, "I think that Toph and I will keep shopping for a while."

"Okay...that's fine, just be careful, guys," Aang warned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll be fine," Toph said, beginning to walk off. For a blind girl, she sure had some confidence in where she was headed. Sokka followed her, and we soon lost them both in the mass of people.

Aang and I went back to where we'd left Katara and Appa. Katara had set up camp while we were gone.

"We're back!" Aang announced, placing our food items at her feet.

"I wish we could start a fire, to cook. And it's still really cold here. But...I don't think we can risk the smoke. And...all of the wood is too wet anyways." She picked up a twig, and showed us, "It must have rained recently."

"But...if we start a fire, the Fire Nation probably won't really care about a couple of campers," I said, realizing that I probably should have stayed quiet. I forgot that she didn't like people contradicting her.

"Do you really want to take that chance?" She asked, surprisingly calmly as she prepared something out of the foods we'd bought. Maybe her flares of anger had only been effects of hunger.

"I...guess not," I took another piece of fruit, tossing my old apple core to the side.

Aang took off the hat he'd been wearing. "We'll be okay, though, right? After all, at least it's warmer than flying over the ocean."

I was used to the cold, actually, and where we were now wasn't that cold for me. I'm guessing Katara and Sokka were pretty used to it, too. That doesn't mean that any of us are immune or anything, though. "Of course we'll be all right," I said, trying to be optimistic. My toes were still numb, though. I sat down on the ground, and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Where's Sokka and Toph?" Katara asked, taking a bite of what looked a little bit like a fruit salad.

"Still in the city," I replied, throwing the remains of my second piece of fruit to the side. "Probably looking for something." I felt entitled to one of the blankets, and wrapped it around me. So, my manners weren't the best. But, isn't like manners are the most important thing to worry about when you're in the middle of the woods. If they asked for it back, I'd give it back without question. After all, they'd rescued me off of the middle of the ocean. I had to be thankful for that, at least.

After a few hours later, the sun was setting, leaving the sky a pastel rainbow of yellow and blue and purple and red. I was sitting apart from Aang and Katara, lost in my own thought. The sky was so pretty, and I was staring off into the horizon, imagining myself returning to the nation I'd always belonged in. Sure, I'd had thoughts that I wouldn't be welcome there, at least not at first, but I decided that ultimately, I might be accepted there once again. That's what I wanted to believe, anyways.

"Risa, come on, we're going to go and look for Sokka and Toph," Aang said, securing his hat on his head once again. "I'm getting worried about them. They should be back by now."

I swallowed. "Should be? What...what do you think..."

Aang looked at the ground. "I don't know. But I think we need to find out fast."


End file.
